


Learn To Trust

by Deathstar510



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Early TNG, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 08:19:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9114760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deathstar510/pseuds/Deathstar510
Summary: After The Last Outpost, Worf has an important question for Riker.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Rebeccabunches on Tumblr for round 6 of trek-rarepair-swap. Apologies for the slight wait, I've been trying to get a cross country move done and severely underestimated how exhausted that was going to leave me. I know this didn't get super shippy but I tried to drop in hints of where it might end up going, I hope that you like it!

Worf had left the Academy knowing exactly what his worth would be to his future crew.

Not that he hadn’t excelled in multiple areas.  If he hadn’t, there was no doubt in Worf’s mind that he would not have graduated.  Humans or Vulcans perhaps could succeed on a single strength but a Klingon?  He’d had to put out twice the showing of any other student to even gain half the consideration. 

So to succeed he’d grown his skill set, perhaps more than anyone ever expected him to manage, but Worf was no fool.  As much as he’d had to learn to get a respectable assignment, an officer’s position, the eye of the command, they would always see a Klingon first.  And a Klingon’s place was battle.

It sat well with him, at least.  If he was going to be put into a box it was better that it was one he excelled in.

Commander Riker’s order to stand down in the face of an unknown enemy had taken all of that, every expectation that Worf had clung to, and put it on its head.  He hardly knew Riker enough to predict him, the crew was newly formed, still adjusting to each other, but he’d thought he’d known his own role well enough.  Thought that he’d be allowed to do the one thing that people had never questioned his skill in.

If he wasn’t sent there to _fight_ what did they _want_ him to do?

Uncertainty had always unsettled him, to the point that when Riker ordered him back he’d very nearly disobeyed it on principle.  Commanding officer or not, when crew survival was on the line, instinct screamed to fall back on what he knew how to do.  Ensure their success or die trying. 

Perhaps it was better that in his shock all he could do was listen, it had certainly worked out in their favor at the time.  But still, the seed of anxiety had been planted somewhere in Worf’s chest in that moment, started working its way through him, taking a firm and painful hold on him. He found himself playing the moment over in his mind, looking from every angle, searching for sense.  Did Riker simply not have confidence in his ability to win the fight?  Reject the idea of trusting his life to a Klingon? 

Worf ran through a range of possibilities and hated every one of them.  The discontent simply festered, took over his mind and pulled it away from his current duties.  When, nearly a week later, he found himself and the Commander alone on their way to the bridge, Worf cleared his throat to draw Riker’s attention before he could even think about it.  If only he’d planned ahead.  Riker stopped and turned to him and Worf stood there, wordless in the face of him.  He covered it well with a straight backed stance, confident but not so strong that it could be construed as confrontational.

The silence stretched between them, weighed heavily until Worf found his voice again.  “Commander, I… wished to have a word with you.  Regarding our recent encounter with the Ferengi.”  The words came out clear, stilted but clear.  He held onto that small blessing and tried not to think of the weakness that showed itself in his every hesitation.

Riker, for his part, seemed oblivious to the way Worf’s mind raced.  He nodded for Worf to go on, wearing an easy smile, the sort that Worf had seen on plenty of Federation faces but never quite mastered for himself.  Not that he’d tried very hard, admittedly.  Social situations were the least of his studies in the Academy.

For the first time he was starting to think that might have been an oversight of some sort.  Knowing something, _literally_ anything about starting a conversation with a superior officer couldn’t possibly hurt.  Still, in the face of the uncomfortable silence, Riker’s smile didn’t waver even once.  Worf found it highly unsettling.

After a moment, Riker gave him the slightest nod, looking up at him very slightly now that his head was tilted down.  He was taller than most humans, Worf wasn’t used to being essentially eye level with others.  Perhaps that was why the man gave no signs of being intimidated by his presence, something Worf had grown accustomed to handling and would have found much easier to handle than this quiet.

“You can speak freely, Lieutenant.”

A short huff of air left his mouth at the comment, reading insult where logic said none was meant.  With humans, logic wasn’t always correct on these matters, they could pack plenty of backhanded put downs into the most benign of compliments.  At least with a Klingon he would know where he stood.  Or at least, that was what study into his birth culture had led him to believe – and he liked to think that there was somewhere he would have fit into better than he did here.

Or at least somewhere where he would have known if he were being mocked or not.

He opened his mouth, closed it again.  The urge rose up somewhere in his chest to call the entire talk off and simply about face, damn the damage it would do to his reputation in the long run.  Surely no one would chase him down just to make him unload the contents of his head.  No one cared about his deepest thoughts in the Academy and he had no reason to assume it would be different here.

Before his nerve could completely flee – or Riker could lose patience with him – Worf opted for simple bluntness.  “Why did you order me to stand down?”

No response, at first, just a startled stare, like Riker had prepared for almost any question to come out of Worf’s mouth but that.  With no command to stop, Worf simply pushed forward.  “When facing a hostile enemy, as we were, taking the risk on yourself was…”  He stopped himself from saying the word foolish.  “Unwise.  The commanding officer’s safety takes priority, but I can’t ensure that if you will not allow me to.”

The silence stretched out between them again, thick and heavy enough to make a lesser pair of men start fidgeting at the sheer discomfort.  Worf hadn’t actually planned this far.  He assumed Riker would have cut him off to interject some sort of defense long before he actually finished his piece.  It was what most superior officers would have done.  At least they would have issued a reprimand for questioning orders, if nothing else.

A negative response would at least have been easy to handle, he’d prepared for that and simply judged his point to be more important.  What was much less easy to handle was the simple nod he received instead. 

“You have a point.”  Riker chuckled.

He _chuckled_.  He wasn’t supposed to agree with it, let alone find it amusing.  This flew in the face of everything Worf intended this conversation to be.  Apparently that fact showed on his face because, while Riker hadn’t stopped the occasional laugh, he did raise both hands from where they’d been crossed behind his back, a very brief image of mock surrender.  “I’m sorry.  Really, I’m not laughing at you.”

A small comfort, but Worf gave no signs of giving up his frown anytime soon.  Things needed to start making sense before he would do something like that.  Riker had paused, left time for Worf to respond, but when nothing came he let his hands drop back down to his sides and soldiered on.  “It’s just, I’ve been on your side of this conversation before, not too long ago even.  So I do understand your point.”

Worf let another long moment pass to process the admission before responding.  “Then, in the next situation?”  Perhaps this would be an easier discussion than he’d first predicted.

Another sly smile.  “I’ll likely do the same thing again”

Or perhaps Riker was simply trying to test the absolute limits of his patience, as was rapidly becoming more likely.  A twitch threatened at the corner of his eye and Worf barely managed to suppress it before speaking.  “Sir, you just said that-“

“That I understood where you were coming from.  Which I do.”  Riker reached out, one of his hands resting lightly on Worf’s shoulder. 

People didn’t touch him, not outside of his parents.  They simply didn’t.  Ever.  Whether that was because he showed no signs of _wanting_ to be touched or because of his species Worf couldn’t be sure.  He tensed up, sucked in a sharp breath at the unexpected contact and Riker seemed to take the hint.  His hand slid back off, drew away without vanishing from Worf’s line of sight.

No verbal apology came and Worf had to say he preferred it that way.  Better to change the behavior and let it slide by without a word than force both of them through a conversation about it.  He cleared his throat, trying to indicate for Riker to continue.

The apology that Riker didn’t voice lingered in his eyes, but he continued.  “I understand, but I do have a responsibility.  To you and to the rest of the crew.  I may be commanding officer, but that’s no excuse to let everyone else take on _all_ the risk.  Even if you’d like me to.”

“If he had wanted a battle though, what then?”

“Ah, but he didn’t.”  Worf was starting to get used to that damned smile and it was making this all much worse.  Things were easier when people didn’t smile so much.  “I’m not saying that I wouldn’t let you fight, ever.  But sometimes it doesn’t hurt to take a different approach and I need people that can trust me enough to rely on my own judgment.”  He paused, again watching Worf for a long moment.  “Can you trust me with that?”

Worf almost said no.  Habit, mostly, trust wasn’t something that came easily to him after all and to say he didn’t _like_ the fact that he had to rely on a man he’d only just met was an understatement.  But Riker raised a good point.  It had worked out for the best.  This time at least.  The looming specter of the fact that it might not in the future hovered over him, made something start to burn inside of him, but instead of voicing that concern, Worf made himself meet Riker’s eyes. “...I can.”

“Good man.”  Riker’s smile had turned into more of a beaming grin now.  Worf couldn’t decide if he hated it more or less than the smile.  Or if they were both growing on him.  Rather than let _that_ thought linger in his head too long, he turned sharply on his heel to go.

“Worf?”  He froze immediately.  Almost too fast for his tastes.  Riker either didn’t notice or gave him the mercy of not commenting.  “Feel free to come to me again, if you have any other concerns.”

Unsure of what else to do, Worf simply nodded, relieved when no more commentary was forthcoming.  He made the mental note to keep a closer eye on Commander Riker as he left the room.

With enough luck, maybe he’d eventually be able to understand him.


End file.
